Unleash your inner Charlie Sheen

4 Mar

What Would Charlie Sheen Do? 

Okay, lets be honest. As much as you love to hate him, Charlie Sheen is a bit of a hero. Out-drinking, -sexing and -coking a 22 year old porn star, telling his producer (and source of the income for his drinking, sexing and coking) essentially to ‘go about his business’ (i’ll leave the fruity language to the reader’s imagination), and having a public meltdown in the middle of a drug and sex scandal while he is trying to maintain custody of his children is pretty legendary behaviour, even for someone as quintessentially tabloid fodder as Charlie Sheen.

The one thing I don’t really understand is why Charlie Sheen has got to this position in the first place? He did Platoon, a cameo in Ferris Bueller, Hot Shots and Wall Street, fair enough. But they were twenty years ago. Since then, he’s been puttering along as a quasi-likable character in a quasi-likable show, which in my opinion only works because of Jon Cryer’s character, the foil to Charlie, Alan. And yet Charlie Sheen commands $2million a show, and is planning on cashing in over a million dollars from Twitter? Bizarre. And as if it doesn’t get any worse, Charlie Sheen believes that 9/11 was a controlled demolition. He must have been snorting a line out of someone’s belly button when the planes hit.

And yet, he comes across as quite endearing, in a dark twisted fashion. He has captured so many young people’s hearts with his antics and shenanigans that people have essentially given up trying to focus on the Middle East and fastidiously read the morning paper to find out which Arab leader is next to topple. It’s all about the Sheen. Quotes such as ‘your face will melt off and your children will weep off your exploded body’ are literally making people’s lives worth living right now.

So whether you love him or hate him, at least take some time out of your day to think about the legend that is Charlie Sheen. Just not in too much detail.
Here’s to you, Charlie Sheen. If that is your real name.

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