Home is where the heart is.

29 Mar

With only a couple of months to go until I set off travelling, I’m starting to wrap things up in Plymouth. I’ve lived here for three years now, and a part of me is wretch to leave it. Sure, it has got its crime, and every morning there is a fresh layer of obscure fast food with a Jakes or Fat Mama’s logo emblazoned on a greasy paper napkin, but it’s pretty fun. The drinking establishments on North Hill, with their perennially sticky floors, the odd drunken student you see having a nap in the middle of the road, or the minefield of seagull faeces spattered over the Barbican.

But Plymouth is home! It’s a mess, but it’s my mess. Only in Plymouth can you minesweep a full Kryptonite from someone at the bar and get away with it with no repercussions, because the said patron is too busy trying to mount the stripper pole in Bac Bar. Only in Plymouth can you have eight (or ten?) different burgers in Fat Mama’s that claim to represent different culinary tastes from all over the world, but are in fact some of the most offensive pieces of food possibly ever conceived. Like, why does the French burger have onion rings? I’ve never eaten onion rings in France, ever.

Plymouth is the only place I’ve ever been that has the perfect marriage of good history – the Spanish Armada, and not so good history – the Blitz, and yet manages to completely erase this epic narrative of Devonian heritage in a wave of concrete and tarmac. Drake Circus was designed by several architects who couldn’t decide what to build, so they must have decided to take their body weight in obscure Kyrgyzstani drugs and build a Primark ‘that represents the fire erupting from Charles Cross Church’. In reference to the horrors of the Second World War, that’s almost as tasteless as calling the American Football team ‘Plymouth Blitz’.

So here’s to you, Plymouth! As desultory, stagnant and dirty as you are, you will always have a special place in my heart, and it will be very difficult to replace you. Sincerely.

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2 Responses to “Home is where the heart is.”

  1. tinkerbelle86 March 30, 2011 at 5:37 pm #

    hahah some of my family live there so this made me chuckle, so true! where are you off to next?

    • Tom Lawrie March 30, 2011 at 5:46 pm #

      America in May. I literally cannot wait.

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